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If you’ve listened to the show for any length of time, you know I give a lot of advice. I say a lot of words. I tell you to do lots of things and not to do others. But the question is, do I actually practice what I preach? Do I follow my own advice? Turns out, not always, and today I’m going to share what bits of my own wisdom I don’t follow. Let’s get started.
Hello, gorgeous. Welcome back to the Everyday Style School, the podcast that gives real lifestyle advice to real-life women. I’m your host, Jennifer Mackey Mary. I’m a wardrobe stylist who’s been dressing everyday women for over 20 years, and I’m the founder of Everyday Style, where we are on a mission to inspire women to love the way they look and give you the tools to make getting dressed easy.
As someone who listens to a lot of podcasts and spends more time scrolling social media than I probably should, I hear and I see a lot of advice from skincare experts sharing their anti-aging secrets to finance experts saying you should never darken the door of a Starbucks sometimes I wonder if they’re really following their own advice. Does the skin care expert fall asleep in her makeup a few times a week? And does the finance guru have a secret venti latte habit? Who knows? I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and believe they follow their own advice most of the time, but I’m guessing there are things they tell us to do that they’re not doing themselves. Does that make them total frauds? To me, no. Now, if the finance expert is going through bankruptcy or the skincare person’s unlined forehead is a result of Botox instead of good sleep in a quality moisturizer, like she claims. Then, yeah, that’s not cool. But the reality is, so much of the advice that you get from podcasts, TV, social media, is just best practices that apply to a lot of people, many of whom are probably in an early stage of learning about a topic and need that simple, clear advice, it’s absolutely impossible to explain every nuance and every exception to every rule and give different advice to fit all levels of mastery,
especially in a large forum like a podcast or a social media post, for example, if you’re at the beginning of your finance journey and you’ve got a lot of debt to pay off, staying out of Starbucks probably is very good advice. But there’s a finance guy that I follow who says, If treating yourself to Starbucks once a week keeps you from feeling so deprived that you can’t stick to a budget. Get the Starbucks once you’re not adding more debt each month. Now I’m guessing a lot of people miss that last part and just tell themselves, well, he says getting Starbucks is okay, right? I truly believe that most experts and advice givers really want their audiences to succeed like I do, so we stick to advice that can’t be misconstrued easily,
which probably means that your favorite experts don’t follow all the advice they give. Maybe they’re just not in that place anymore. Maybe they’ve moved on to higher level of mastery, and they don’t need those simple things. And I’m no exception to that. So today, in the spirit of transparency, I’m going to share four things I tell you to do, but I don’t do myself. And because I want you to know that I’m not just out here saying things for the sake of saying things, I’m going to tell you why I don’t do them. And the first one is that I don’t follow a capsule wardrobe.
This one’s a little bit fuzzy to me, because in all fairness, all fairness to me, I never said you should follow a capsule wardrobe. What I have said is that capsule wardrobes are one way to build a wardrobe, and they are a very good thing in lots of situations. For example, when your body is changing and you don’t want to buy a ton of clothes, but you need to be able to get dressed every day. Capsule wardrobes are amazing. Same thing with being on a budget. Capsule wardrobes are a great way to do more with less. A few years ago, I shared in one of my Facebook communities that I don’t follow our capsule guides, and I got a very strongly worded message about how I am a fraud and she couldn’t trust me anymore. She said the guides we create and that we sell are just money grabs if I’m not doing them myself. It was a lot. But here’s the thing, capsule wardrobes in general are really, really great when you don’t.
Want to spend time thinking about what goes together, or you’re unsure of your style abilities, or you want a more minimalist approach, those things don’t apply to me. I like creating outfits. I am not a minimalist, and I’m pretty confident in my style. If I wasn’t, we shouldn’t be here, right? And as far as not following the everyday style capsule guides, a big misconception that has lessened over time is that we create them based on what I like or what works for me, and trust me, nothing could be further from the truth. Very few of the capsule color palettes we’ve done over the years have been best for me, and a lot of the pieces aren’t things that I feel good in. We choose things based on what’s trending, or what we’ve used before, or what a lot of women would wear when we’re putting the capsule database together, I’m definitely shopping. And when there is a piece I love, I buy it. But if we just created guides with me in mind, we would have so many unhappy customers, I will always add a couple of capsule pieces to my wardrobe beach season. And when a color works for me, I go all in, but I don’t follow our guides closely for that reason. And to me, the message that I got was like criticizing a chef because he makes meals at home that aren’t on the restaurant’s menu, even if he thinks the restaurant menu is amazing, I wouldn’t expect him to only eat those dishes, right? Maybe sometimes he does, maybe sometimes he doesn’t, and that’s kind of where I’m at. There are times when I take a more capsule approach to my wardrobe. For example, when I go on vacation, I have all capsule all the time. Define color palette, versatile pieces. Again, it’s about doing more with less. Also, I go more capsule when my own body is changing. I’ve lost weight recently, and I’m having to replace things because I don’t really know where I’m gonna end up. And we’re on this weird cusp of becoming spring. I’m not rushing out to buy a whole new wardrobe, but I have bought a small collection of key pieces in a mix and match color palette that make it easy to create a lot of outfits with fewer things. So it isn’t like I’m against capsule wardrobes while telling you they’re the only, or even the best way to get dressed. I think they’re an amazing tool in certain situations, and they solve a lot of wardrobe challenges and make style super easy. But I’m not a capsule guy die hard, and I’m sorry if you are shocked or offended by that, but it is what it is. We still know how to make them, though, and that’s what matters. The second bit of advice that I give but don’t follow is about buying multiples. You probably know I’m against it, and maybe you know that the reason I am against it is that most of the time it’s a money wasting and closet cluttering strategy, and I am against both of those things. But this is a time when people miss part of the advice I give, and it changes the meaning a lot. One of our members actually just asked about this in a style coaching session, and like most people, she remembered the first part of the advice, good, which is, don’t buy multiples, but she forgot about the second, which is, unless you are tough to fit. And by fit, I mean things like struggling to find pants that fit both your waist and your hips, or struggling to find pants with a long enough inseam, if that’s the case and you find pants that fit you perfectly off the rack, don’t reinvent the wheel. Buy the pants in a couple of colors. What I’m talking about when I say don’t buy multiples is everyday basics when you don’t have fit challenges or statement pieces.
I am, personally, am not an easy person to fit, and I’m picky about things like necklines and sleeve types. I can’t stand super high closed necklines, and I am so overdrop shoulder sleeves that I am going to scream. So when I found the perfect sweater with a vertical sleeve and a slightly open neckline, you can bet I bought a few of them. I struggle with pants too, but I love statement pants, so I don’t buy multiples of those. Over the holidays, I bought burgundy velvet cargo pants. I love them. They are cute, they’re comfortable, they fit well, they’re everything, right? But I know that I can’t or that I won’t wear them all that often, so I didn’t need to buy them in multiple colors, even though they would have been an easy style solution, right? When it comes to buying multiples in statement pieces, you’re going to end up wearing one more frequently than all the others, and even then, you probably won’t wear that one all that often, because it stands out so much so the other versions do just become money wasters and closet clutterers. The difference between the advice I give when it comes to multiples and the way I build my own wardrobe is that when I buy something in more than.
One color. I’m doing it intentionally to solve a specific problem, rather than just kind of a default habit with not a lot of thought behind it. The other thing is that my wardrobe is incredibly varied. Yes, I might be wearing the same solid sweater, but I’m pairing the pink one with the burgundy velvet pants, or the burgundy one with leopard print straight legs, or the ivory with a teal silk miniskirt. There’s enough interest and variation in my wardrobe that I don’t think anyone’s ever even noticed that I have more than one of the same top
most people try to pair their closet multiples with jeans that look pretty much the same, or black pants that look pretty much the same. There just isn’t enough variety to keep from looking and feeling like you’re wearing the same outfit over and over, because you basically are right. This leads to wardrobe boredom and buying more clothes, again, often in multiple colors, which just perpetuates the cycle. So if you’re going to buy multiples when you shop, make sure that it’s solving a wardrobe problem rather than creating one. Speaking of shopping habits, the third piece of my own advice I don’t follow is to stay out of stores in August and February. For decades, I have been telling women to save their money and not buy anything in these two months. And for the most part, I stand by that for a couple of reasons. First, August and February are kind of placeholders in fashions calendar, right? Most of us are so ready for the next season that we jump to buy things that make us feel like spring or fall is almost here. Most people, and I know that climates are different, so this might not apply to you, but most people can’t wear the things they buy in February or August for quite some time. I was at the mall the other day, and Old Navy has sun dresses and linen pants. It is February in Minnesota, so the average high is in the low 20s. What am I going to do with linen pants right now? Nothing, right? Another bit of advice that I give and that I do follow is that if you haven’t worn a purchase within two weeks, chances are you never will. So return it, get your money back. Well, that’s tough to do when you realistically can’t wear the things you’ve bought. So you buy it, you stick it in your closet, you wait to wear it, but then you decide you don’t like it in two months or three months, and it’s long past the return window, so you’re just stuck with clothes you don’t really want or need.
Also in February and August, you probably haven’t looked at what you have or what you need or what would really help your wardrobe for the next season, and lots of times, you end up buying things that are very similar to what you already own.
The other reason I tell people to stay out of stores in February and August is that these are traditionally big clearance months, and you know how I feel about clearance sections. Wardrobe struggles are created in clearance sections, not solved, but it is really easy to get caught up in the excitement of finding a skirt for under $10 right? It’s a thrill, but remember, price doesn’t make anything fit you better, flatter you more, or make you want to wear it. So the thing that excites you most about an item is the price. Just put it back and walk away, you will have saved yourself money.
But my friend, I shop in August and February, and here’s why. First, sometimes I just need stuff, like I mentioned earlier, I am in the position of changing sizes, and I find no value in struggling to get dressed or feeling frumpy, no value whatsoever. Could I go to a party feeling frumpy and clothes that are too big? Sure, I guess I could. But why would I do that? I know that I will have more fun if I like the way I look. So I went shopping. Was it more challenging because of all the sun dresses in linen pants? Yep, did I have to venture into clearance sections also? Yes, but I needed clothes. Finding a solution will always be more important to me than following a rule. If I had had all the clothes I needed to get me through the winter easily, I would not have gone shopping. I would have stayed out of the stores, but I needed to solve a problem also. Though, the other reason I will shop in these months is that I know myself well enough to know what I have and what I like. I don’t buy Okay, stuff in August and February, but when pre spring and pre fall come out and there is something fabulous that looks nothing like what I already have. I’m gonna buy it. I know that basic tops will always be there, so I don’t bother with those. But some of my very favorite statement pieces were purchased in February and August. It isn’t like the days of old when a store would get like 10 styles of tops and they would just get restocked throughout the season.
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